why i don’t judge you for caring deeply about how you look

I’m not judging you for caring deeply about how you look.

I’m judging a culture that tells you how you look determines your potential and worth

Oftentimes when we dig in to do the deep personal work our ego kicks in and starts acting like my toddler when I cut her sandwich the wrong way.

It throws the tantrum of all tantrums.

We start assuming that we're being judged. Who we are and the choices we make are found as lacking. So we rear up and start defending the very thing that we actually need to release in order to grow. We get defensive or offended or annoyed.

This is normal. It's part of our development cycle.

I was reminded of this earlier this week when discussing the work I do on de-centering appearance. I'm pretty blunt in my assessment of our appearance-focused culture. But what that can often feel like on the other side is judgment.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't judging. I am. I'm just not judging you.

I don't judge any person who is simply trying to do their best.

I don't judge the desire to do the very thing that you've been told will bring you love or happiness or wealth or connection or respect or that promotion or that perfect life or magic powers or any other huge need you have that you've been led to believe will come once you look the part. Once you look young enough. Once you look old enough. Once you have the perfect body, the flawless skin, the chicest wardrobe.

If you keep coming back to what I'm saying but you also feel resistance or defensiveness, look into that feeling. I'm not judging you. So, why is it there?

Could this work be the next thing you're being called to take on?

Jessica Jo Fisher